Our Orange National Nightmare Is Almost Over

In case you’re feeling stressed about how Election Day 2016 is gonna go, allow me to be your Xanax of blissful calm.

Donald Trump–aka the Orange Menace, Baby Hands Donnie, and Don the Con–will lose this election. I’m pretty sure both campaigns have seen the internal polling numbers which show Trump has no path to the White House. Clinton starts the day with 260 electoral votes in her column, leaving her only needing 30 more to be declared president. Hint: Florida has 29 electoral votes, so if she wins it, the night is over and we can all pop the corks on that well-chilled champagne.

Some are worried–rightly so–that even if Trump loses by a large margin of 100 to 120 electoral votes he will refuse to concede. That’s entirely possible, but it doesn’t matter in the least. He can start court battles or stand atop Trump Tower and throw a hissy fit for all the good it’s gonna do. Once Clinton gets to 270, you can put the book back on the shelf because the story is done and she wins.

When you think about it, it’s only fitting–and perfect karma–that Trump should lose and lose by a lot. Anything else would be too dark and sinister for us to live with as a country. Just the fact that this incredibly dangerous man made it this far should cause each of us to pause and ask: What is wrong with some of our fellow citizens? How can they not see just how evil and toxic Trump is? Do they truly want to give a sociopath nuclear weapons? Don’t we have enough to worry about?

Here’s the epitaph for the Trump campaign, and I hope they’ll even put up a little plaque in the Capitol to remind us for centuries to come:

Hatred and fear can never overcome love and hope.

Our Orange Nightmare is almost over. We should be proud of rejecting this man’s dark vision of America. We are so much better than he says we are.

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