Sometimes a campaign can get downright surreal. At the same time, it can also get pretty damn funny. Unless, of course, you happen to be the candidate at the center of the maelstrom.
If you don’t believe me, just as Ted Cruz.
During the wee hours of the battle for New Hampshire, Cruz was trolled in person by a man who goes by the moniker of Vermin Supreme. Mr. Supreme (or would that be Mr. Vermin? What’s the protocol?) is a performance artist who also happens to be running for the White House on a platform of making sure everyone brushes their teeth. In 2012, he ran on two issues:
- Zombie apocalypse awareness
- A free pony for every American
Hey, I’ve heard worse ideas from a candidate.
But while Vermin Supreme had Ted Cruz close by, he asked him a very salient question:
Ted Cruz, do you agree that the waterboarding water should be fluoridated? Shouldn’t we at least fluoridate the water that we use to waterboard the bad people with?
Hmm…flouridated water for waterboarding. Now there’s a great idea! Better safe than sorry.
Then Mr. Vermin had this bit of direction for Brother Cruz:
Surrender, Ted Cruz, surrender. We have you surrounded. You must surrender immediately. Put your hands in the air and drop your pants for your safety, thank you. Mr. Cruz, why do you hate America? Sir, why do you hate America?
Again, that’s a very fair question, don’t you think? Why does Ted Cruz hate America?
Cruz, who looked more than a bit frightened by the encounter (what’s wrong, Ted? Afraid God can’t protect you from the Vermin Supreme?), did not make any comments, but he also didn’t answer the questions asked by his fellow White House seeker.
In honor of Cruz, who is so holier-than-thou, Mr. Vermin ended the shared moment with a prayer:
That, uh, we don’t get into any wars, and the war that we do get into against Narnia, that there will not be very many American causalities.
Here’s the video of the historic moment when Teddy met Vermie:
Vermin Supreme trolls Ted Cruzhttps://t.co/sSdA3u9fyd
— Independent Journal (@INJO) February 9, 2016
This article was originally published by the same author at BipartisanReport.com.