Ann Coulter Says Donald Trump Should Name Her Secretary Of Homeland Security

Ann Coulter and Donald Trump have a lot in common. They both think immigrants from Mexico are all coming here so they can rape and kill every gringo they lay eyes on. They both love to say ridiculous and patently false things they know will get them media coverage. And they are both heartless, soulless asshats who should be placed on a deserted island and never allowed to leave.

Case in point: Coulter is now saying that if Trump is elected President in 2016, he should immediately appoint her to be Secretary of Homeland Security.

During a speech at Eagle Forum’s Collegian Summit, Coulter proclaimed that if she was head of Homeland Security:

“I’ll get it all done before breakfast.”

Yeah, probably because you’d be so far in over your head that you’d hide in the bathroom and pretend you weren’t there.

Ms. Coulter added that she would:

“Guess who the criminals are going to be” and  be correct “50 percent of the time.”

That would certainly be an improvement in her batting average, as she is currently correct about 0.00001 percent of the time. But hey, the Homeland Security chief doesn’t have to be right. Just flip a coin and decide who to arrest.

As if that wasn’t enough, Coulter also said:

“We’re assimilating you, you’re here and you’re going to be an American. There will be no celebration of Cinco de Mayo, there will be no Ramadan, in fact there won’t even be a Feast of the Immaculate Conception– we are an Anglo-Protestant country, and you will learn about the Battle of Valley Forge.”

Prediction for 2016: Should Donald Trump become President and name Ann Coulter Homeland Security Secretary, lots of Americans will be digging out their passports and heading for countries where sanity still rules.

This article was originally published by the same author at

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